Au PAIRadise

Spending the weekend with 40 other jeune fille au pairs, from 10 odd countries, was one of the most interesting, eye-opening, silly and fun experiences I’ve had all year. After my initial highschool panic flashback had subsided (oh my god, where am I going to sit on the bus, are the “popular” girls going to talk about me behind my back, what if everyone already has someone to sit with, and I am left alone and loser-ish??!), I settled into the group realizing that most everyone was there to share each others’ joys and au pair-pains, and to have fun with others who are going through the same crazy experience.

Not to say that “cliques” weren’t formed. Not unlike the University of Michigan, where homogenous color coded hordes of students were the norm, the au pair crowd split similarly into ethnic groups. Germans in one corner, Swedes on the second floor, English speakers (the majority) filtering through the spaces between.

We went on the trip to ski, and to any outsiders assessment, the lack of snow anywhere the eye could see would have deemed it a bust. We had to take a télécabine 2200 meters up to find snow, and even then only ONE piste was open. That one run, however, provided hours of enjoyment, and a little scary chaos. To keep things interesting, Julie and I switched equipment. I put on her skis, and it was like riding a bike; in minutes I felt like I was 9 years, and tearing up the slopes (read: landfills) at Blizzard ski school in Michigan. To mix things up, we decided to follow some tracks cut by the lone male au pair in the group (an odd fellow from Iceland who au paired 10 years ago, and now takes care of horses….).

Mel went first, and slid on her butt most of the way down the steep part. She’s a good boarder, so I had my doubts about whether or not I could do it on skis. But I shut up my inner nag, and dropped down the steep slope. In seconds I was flying, trying to make turns when I could, poles flailing every which way. I was definitely going fast, but a hill was coming up and I was sure I would be slowed as I went over it. Mel waited at the top so we could cut through the rocks and trees together, and get back on the main run. I approached the hill, and started my ascent. I was going up, going up……halfway and still going up. Mel must have thought I would have slowed down too, but it was too late by the time we both realized I was going to smash into her. I speed up the hill, took her legs and board out from under her, then was stopped by my head (and thank god my helmet) smashing into a boulder. Then, Mel's board came crashing down on my upper body. For a second I was silent, then breathing fast, heart pumping and trying to catch my breath and assess the damage. Legs OK, wrists OK, head hurts but not TOO bad, stabbing pain in my upper arm. For a second I thought I had either popped my shoulder out or was bleeding badly, but attempted to move my arm with success and fairly minimal (considering the circumstances) pain. Mel and I disentangled from each other, and she helped me get back on Julie’s skis, which were what I was most worried about damaging, but were thankfully OK too.

After my fight with the boulder, the sun was going down, conditions getting icy, and my arm hurting like hell, so I went inside for some chocolat chaud while everyone else took a last run or two. Assessing the damage in the bathroom, there was little blood, but my arm was almost twice its normal circumference, with some beautiful colors already starting to appear.

Back at the Chalet (names Les Clos des Pierres, “the enclosure of stones”) we were put to work making dinner. I volunteered when they were looking “for people who know how to make fondue” (hey, I’ve done it once!), and got to spend the next half hour maniacally stirring 4 giant pots of melted emmental and gruyere cheeses on a massive industrial sized stove. A huge success, everyone gorged themselves on fondue with thick, rustic pieces of bread to dip, salad, and delicious cinnamon and butter baked apples for dessert.

Once everything from dinner was cleaned, the organizers of the trip, Paul and Becky, gathered everyone for the “non-snow snow games.” We divided into teams and played cheesy, fun, middle school-esque games such as a newspaper snowball fight, blanket sleigh pulling races, parachute games, and a dance off to end. The majority of au pairs are between 18 and 24, but everyone embraced their inner child and really got into the spirit of silly competition, which made for an amazingly fun and uplifting night. The dance off was the last competition, where we had to come up with 30 seconds worth of dance moves, and then perform them to an unknown song. I am probably THE worst dancer in the world, but luckily even I could keep up with the highly technically challenging arm swoops, leg crosses, and pelvic thrusts that our group choreographed. The best part was the end, where the rest of the group circled around me while I did interpretive dance, ending in a dramatic pose with my arms drawn to my face, then slid out in front of the crowd screaming “Au PAIRidise!!!!!,” the spur of the moment name I came up with for our group. We ended up tying for third, and were in uncontrollable fits of laughter almost the whole night. Definitely an experience I won’t soon forget.

Sunday morning, Paul, one of the organizer’s, gave an interesting and uplifting speech, something I’m still pondering. He talked about how even though there was no snow, that there was a near record-breaking number of au pairs who came on the trip. This, he said, was very inspirational because we were content to come and meet new people, spend time together, and enjoy ourselves despite the original “goal” of the trip, to ski. He busted out his Bible, and from the gold rimmed pages read a beautiful passage, which talked about being content through famine and feast, health and sickness, good times and bad. He asserted, as the bible has a tendency to do, that you can gain this contentment in life through “Him,” who strengthens you.

Being content with my situation as an au pair, living in Geneva, and life in general has been a struggle for me this year, and in a way all of my life. While I don’t know if my personal path to contentment is through a capitalized masculine entity, the speech really struck a cord with me. I felt connected, knowing that he wouldn’t have broached that specific subject if he had not been thinking others in the room were grappling with contentment themselves.

Thinking to the night before, how I was able to throw myself full force into the cheesy “non-snow games” 100%, and just go with the flow and ending up laughing til' I peed, made me feel like maybe something is starting to click. Slowly yet surely, I think I am starting to understand how to just “be” and to be happy just being. Taking a little more joy in the mundane details of making porridge, folding laundry, hanging out with the lil’ monsters, reading, grocery shopping, talking and being with a friend…just the ordinary business of life. Not pouting over a muddy mountain weekend devoid of powder or half-pipes, but taking it for what it is, and consequently discovering my inner rockstar. I’m sure there will be many days ahead of me where the nagging feeling of the ambiguous “something more” will haunt my spirit, or when one, two or even three cookies will be not enough, and I’ll still think “more” will make me satisfied; but I can think back to the fun I had on the weekend that supposedly went awry, remember the fun and spirit of the Au PAIRadise, and be happy for where I am this moment.